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Goodbye 2019, welcome 2020!

Goodbye 2020, welcome 2021!

At the beginning of every new year, I’ve gotten into the habit of reviewing the year that just ended. The reason? To be able to evolve towards achieving our life goals, to be more satisfied with the way my life is going and to be successful while feeling Zen and balanced, it is important to pause and reflect, so that we can make adjustments if necessary. So, I’d like to share with you the 3 questions I ask myself at the start of each new year, which provide guidance for my reflection.

#1 What was my strongest point in 2020?

This is the moment—or moments—that I wish to replicate. Sometimes they are thoughts or realizations that I absolutely must remember to integrate in the pursuit of this coveted “zenitude”. As human beings, we tend to only pay attention to mistakes. This ends up increasing the pressure and stress we feel and can lead to an increase in what are called cognitive distortions (fancy words for the mental traps in which we end up getting caught when our ways of seeing things are wrong). Our good moments are important in building our self-confidence. We must see them and take them into account so that they can have the opportunity to reoccur from year to year!

#2 What was my most difficult point in 2020?

This is the moment—or moments—that I never want to live again or experience the same way that I experienced them during the last year. The words “in the same way” are underlined here because we can’t control what happens to us, but we always have control over how we react. This self-control can be developed. By reflecting on certain situations, we can already prepare the ground for future situations by choosing in advance how we want to behave when facing unwanted events. For example, we can say that when facing a similar situation, we will take a step back rather than hurrying to act, we will say “no” instead of “yes” more often (or the opposite), we will encourage ourselves more rather than blame ourselves, etc. The idea is to pave the way I want to take and not feel completely at the mercy of the situations that occur in my life.

#3 What is the most important goal to reach in 2021?

Remember that if you do not identify anything specific to achieve, you will get nothing specific from life. It is only by identifying specific (and also REALISTIC) goals that the actions to take begin to take shape and that my life can follow this direction. Also remember that if you do not set specific goals for yourself, someone else (your spouse, boss, children, friends) will inevitably end up doing it for you, because their goals will be more defined than yours, and your life will go in a direction that may not necessarily be the one you want. A former colleague of mine often said to me, “We must arrange things for ourselves before others arrange things for us!” She made me laugh, but she was right in many ways. It was her way of understanding the importance of having a clear intention in order to achieve what is most important to us.

Wishing you the best mental balance for 2021. Happy New Year, everyone!

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